List of Articles > Articles by Tom Cash

  • Back on the Wagon April 6, 2017

    Losing weight is difficult. Let me rephrase that.  Losing weight itself is easy, but maintaining the discipline required to lose the weight and keep it off permanently is quite challenging.  Cheat meals are okay, but they can snowball.  Gradually, over the last month or so, my cheat days evolved into cheat weekends, and then I found ...

  • The Foundation of Being February 28, 2017

    While I have never read Rumer Godden’s book, A House with Four Rooms, and am indeed not familiar with her body of work, I have nevertheless always been a fan of this passage from that book: “There is an Indian proverb or axiom that says that everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a ...

  • Comedy, Mostly? February 27, 2017

    The last comedy article posted here is around six months old, and it feels a bit phoned in (by the time you read this, it will probably have been deleted). In all honesty, I feel like most of the content on this page is phoned in. It was rushed, never went through any revisions, never ...

  • Go Like Yourself! November 7, 2016

    Something I’ve noticed, in the act of spending countless hours recording, editing, producing, uploading, and marketing my YouTube videos: on social media, likes/reacts are a social commodity, not a transaction of actual appreciation. To put it another way, the motivation to react to something on social media has much more to do with your ...

  • Why Jeff Dunham Must Be Destroyed September 7, 2016

    When I say that Jeff Dunham must be destroyed, please understand that it has nothing to do with his act. It has to do with his curious rise to power. I’m merely suggesting that the reason he’s become such a popular and iconic figure in modern stand-up comedy has less to do with his ...

  • Buddy Cop Episode 2: Good Cop, Good Cop September 1, 2016

    Let it never be said that I don’t suffer for my art. So far, in every single scripted video I’ve been in for Unintelligible Gibberish, I have found myself covered in food. In the case of this particular video, I was asked to smear foul-tasting, this-color-does-not-appear-in-nature cupcake frosting all over my face in order ...

  • Filler Content Friday: Free Association Vol. 1 July 29, 2016

    It’s difficult to produce content on a consistent basis. Thankfully, there is a fairly reliable technique to break open your subconscious mind and get the creative juices flowing. It’s called free association writing, and the idea is to just write whatever comes to mind without any filters. Today I thought I’d share ...

  • Fool Moon Hypothesis July 18, 2016

    Have noticed people acting strangely, or being total dickheads today?  Like, even more than is usual for a Monday?  Well, unless you’re a an astronomer, and star gazer, or one of those New Age dipshits, you probably weren’t aware that tomorrow is the full moon.  Like me, you live in the modern world.  You have ...

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Twenty-Three July 15, 2016

    Part twenty-three in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Twenty-Two July 11, 2016

    Part twenty-two in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Filler Content Friday – Is This Article Clickbait? THE ANSWER WILL ASTONISH YOU! July 8, 2016

    This article is going to blow your mind so hard that it’s going to fly out of your skull and blow someone else’s mind!

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Twenty-One July 4, 2016

    Part twenty-one in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • How to Make Your Coworkers as Miserable as You Are June 29, 2016

    You may not hate your job, but let’s face it, wouldn’t you rather roll out of bed whenever you damn well feel like it, and spend your time doing stuff you intensely enjoy, rather than rationalize the fact you’re getting paid well enough to do stuff that you’d really rather not do? Of course! ...

  • Sock Puppets Eating People Food – Episode 01 – Pennsyltucky Picnic June 28, 2016

    This weekend, I had the pleasure of putting on a red hand puppet and wasting a lot of perfectly good food – much of which landed in my hair – for the sake of comedy. Enjoy! And if you like it, please like, comment, and subscribe to the channel, and like our Facebook page! For ...

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Twenty June 27, 2016

    Part twenty in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Kevin’s Statesments: War Is Hell June 23, 2016

    Sometimes, resorting to violence for absolutely every single problem can be a little tiring, but Kevin takes it in stride.

  • How to Be a Shitty Older Brother June 22, 2016

    I am not an easy person to live with. I am temperamental, judgmental, lazy, and obsessive. But that’s nothing compared to the way I behaved from the ages of eight to around twenty-five. I was a miserable bastard, and I treated a lot of people like shit, including my younger sister.

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Nineteen June 20, 2016

    Part nineteen in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Kevin’s Statements: A Letter To Samantha June 16, 2016

    Kevin finally grows a set of balls and cuts off ties to his toxic ex-girlfriend.

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Eighteen June 13, 2016

    Part eighteen in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Seventeen June 6, 2016

    Part seventeen in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Filler Content Friday – Don Knotts Looks Like He’s Getting his Butthole Fingered in Every Picture June 3, 2016

    The late Don Knotts, beloved comedian whose characters included Deputy Barney Fife from The Andy Griffith Show, and Mr. Furley from Three’s Company, was very well known for his comical faces, particularly his wide-wided expression of shock and confusion. He was a brilliant physical actor and comedian. He also looked like he was unexpectedly getting his ...

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Sixteen June 1, 2016

    Part sixteen in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Buddy Cop – Episode 1 May 30, 2016

    Buddy Cop: Half the Team, All the Cop

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Fifteen May 23, 2016

    Part fifteen in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Filler Content Friday – Volume 12: Doucheball Maker Instructions May 13, 2016

    Congratulations on your purchase of a quality Home Doucheball Maker! The following Quick Start Instructions will have you making and enjoying your very own homemade doucheballs in no time at all! Remember to use only high quality douche to ensure that your Doucheball Maker does not degrade in quality. Cheap, knockoff douche can damage the ...

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Fourteen May 9, 2016

    Part fourteen in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Chick Tract Roulette – Episode One: Little Orphan Boy May 6, 2016

    In this episode of Chick Tract Roulette, Jessie Pinkman and Walter White pull a drive by, a construction worker is fatally wounded and discovers that Heaven is full of vegans, and a man discovers the final solution for dealing with proselytizing Christians.

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Thirteen May 2, 2016

    Part thirteen in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • FilthCast – Episode 001 – Michael Parlett April 27, 2016

    Tom Cash and Michael Parlett discuss what what going to George Lucas’s mind when he made the prequels, why Generation Y is so confused by everything prior to and following its short time in the sun, and what not to do when you meet a celebrity.

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Twelve: The Chronicles of M.S – Volume 2 April 25, 2016

    Part twelve in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Pictures of Strangers April 22, 2016

    I was originally going to split the content of this article into a Chatlog Fun article and a Filler Content Friday article, but I’ve decided that I love these ridiculous comics way too much to just shove them into a corner of my website intended solely to give me some buffer room so that I ...

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Eleven April 18, 2016

    Part eleven in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Filler Content Friday – Volume 11: Just Some Random Stuff April 15, 2016

    I don’t have a preamble for these. Just stuff I made. Take it or leave it.

  • End-User Life Agreement April 13, 2016

    I never chose to be born. I was yanked kicking and screaming from the Void, and eventually I will return to the Void. As a nihilist, I find this strangely comforting. The idea of eternal life scares the living shit out of me, and heaven sounds like a nightmare, because other people ...

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Ten April 11, 2016

    Part ten in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Filler Content Friday – Volume 10: Ads and Products April 8, 2016

    I like to make fake ads and products. Here are some fake ads and products.

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Nine April 4, 2016

    Part nine in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • The International Association for the Advocacy of Penile Rights Needs Your Help! April 1, 2016

    PLEASE NOTE: THIS ARTICLE IS NOT WORKSAFE. In this glorious new age of social justice and tolerance, people are more and more enabled to truly be themselves, and to stand up for the rights they deserve. Every day we see Neo-Feminists verbally assaulting men, Men’s Rights Activities slandering women, overzealous trans people treating ...

  • Goofy Retro Commercials That I Find Absolutely Adore March 30, 2016

    I’m not generally one for nostalgia. I’m pretty happy with the here and now, and a lot of the things I treasured as a kid, when re-experienced as an adult, seem lackluster and one dimensional. Except Robocop. Don’t you dare say an unkind word about Robocop, or I’ll start smoking again specifically so I can ...

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Eight March 28, 2016

    Part eight in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Seven: The Chronicles of M.S. March 21, 2016

    Part seven in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Six March 14, 2016

    Part six in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Five March 7, 2016

    Part five in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Haters Gonna Die Alone March 4, 2016

    I’ve been an active user of the Internet since 1995, and while there have been numerous changes over the years, one thing remains constant: when removed from the responsibility of having to directly be held accountable for what they say and do, people show their true colors. And unfortunately, a lot of people are closeted ...

  • Is Frosty the Snowman a Demon or What? March 2, 2016

    In the aftermath of the blizzard of 2016, I got to thinking about the 1969 Rankin-Bass Christmas special, Frosty the Snowman. As a child, I never questioned it, I simply accepted it as a part of the magic of Christmas. As an adult, I begin to see a much darker side to the ...

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Four February 29, 2016

    Part four in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • 30 Things That Only a 90’s Kid Will Understand February 24, 2016

    Were you a radical elementary school kid in the 80’s? Were you a disaffected grunge kid in the 90’s? Do you remember things? Do you sometimes feel nostalgia? Then this article is for you!

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Three February 15, 2016

    Part three in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume Two February 8, 2016

    Part two in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • Chatlog Fun: Volume One February 1, 2016

    Part one in an ongoing series of old chatlogs featuring Tom and his friends.

  • The Exciting Adventures of Vault-Man – Episode 1: Humble Beginnings January 13, 2016

    In this new Fallout 4 comedy serial, we follow the good fight of Vault-Man, a superhero stuck out of time, as he searches for Kellogg, a man whose powers may equal his own.

  • A Zero-Spoiler Review of Star Wars: The Force Awakens December 30, 2015

    The Force Awakens is the best thing to happen since the inception of multicellular life on this planet, and if you disagree, I hope you die horribly in a vat of your own bile. It has all your favorite Star Wars in it, including Ham Schlomo, Duke Skinwalker, Princess Lima Oregano, Seth Reepio, Art ...

  • The Amazing World of Self-Published Books December 16, 2015

    Tom didn’t read any of these books, but contrary to the rule of not judging a book by its cover, he really didn’t **need** to read them. Sometimes, a picture really **is** worth a thousand words.

  • Filler Content Friday – Volume 9: Random Access Stupidity May 29, 2015

    Tom shares some more demented comics from a time better left forgotten.

  • Filler Content Friday – Volume 8: Anderson Cooper Without Eyes May 15, 2015

    Tom learns that there’s only so many times that you can Photoshop a man’s striking blue eyes off of his handsome face before you start asking yourself what you’re doing with your life.

  • Filler Content Friday – Volume 7: My Internet Hell May 8, 2015

    Tom shares a collection of found-art comic strips he created, heavily influenced by PsychoGrams, a recurring feature on the 1990’s MTV show Liquid Television.

  • I AM THE WIZARRRRDUH! May 6, 2015

    Rather than provide fresh content, Tom offers up some lame excuses and a ridiculous video made in 1999. Feel free to belittle him.

  • Prince Valiant and the Story I Never Bothered to Finish April 29, 2015

    Tom made this comic a long time ago, but the final panels somehow got lost. Nevertheless, it’s funny enough on its own to be worth publishing, so here it is!

  • Filler Content Friday – Volume 5: Lousy Photoshops April 24, 2015

    Once per week, Tom gathers up a small sampling of his “B material” – stuff he didn’t deem worthy of having an individual article built around it – and shares it in a variety post called Filler Content Friday. This week features a bunch of absolute garbage that Tom made before he really got ...

  • FoodConspiracyGuru.org: Your Source for the TRUTH About Healthy Eating! April 20, 2015

    Joanne Kirkwood-Dunning is a registered holistic eating coach and is the founder and editor-in-chief of FoodConspiracyGuru.org, and she’s here today to teach you about the dangers hidden in common foods, and how make better choices. She’s also a credulous idiot who will believe anything anyone tells her.

  • Filler Content Friday – Volume 4: Bizarre Animated Gifs April 17, 2015

    This week features a motley collection of animated gifs that couldn’t have possibly come from a healthy mind.

  • Filler Content Friday – Volume 3: Old Doodles and Comic Strips April 10, 2015

    This week features a collection of sketches and doodles from Tom’s past.

  • Welcome to Employee Orientation Weekend! April 8, 2015

    It’s your first day on a job; a new company, a new opportunity, a fresh new start! You are determined to make the best of it, and really make it work this time. But you are confronted with a bizarre menagerie of characters out of a fever dream, and realize you MIGHT have ...

  • Prince Valiant and the Stone Ape April 6, 2015

    Prince Valiant and his pals eat drugs and shamelessly kill innocent monsters in the woods. Also, a guy gets completely obliterated with absolutely no explanation or even any evidence of emotional response from his peers.

  • Filler Content Friday – Volume 2 April 3, 2015

    This week features Mutant Grease: The Musical, one too many fedoras, terrible puns, Katy Perry’s ladyboner for cockatiels, and a dog morphing into a baby seal.

  • Filler Content Friday – Volume 1 March 27, 2015

    This week features Bighead Lee, Coal Fleps, the Gumby Man, and absurdist fractals.

  • Prince Valiant and the Chocolate Basketballs March 26, 2015

    The first episode of Prince Valiant’s Shitty Adventures, an ongoing series of parody comics using art assets from the classic (and very verbose and seemingly endless) comic script, Prince Valiant. In this first adventure, we meet the principle characters that will appear many times over in future episodes: Prince Valiant, his sister, Princess Stuck-Up Cunt, ...

  • Farewell, Sir Pratchett; Tonight You Are Among the Gods March 13, 2015

    Tom bids a fond farewell to legendary humorist and fantasy author Terry Pratchett, author of the Discworld series.

  • Book Review: Skullcrack City March 8, 2015

    Tom reviews Jeremy Robert Johnson’s darkly brilliant new novel about drug addiction, occultist bankers, brain-eating mutants, evil wolf gods, and preternaturally ancient war criminals.

  • Internal Shirt Podcast # 002 – A Visit to the Golden Corral December 31, 2014

    Tom talks about the repercussions of eating six plates worth of comfort food in one sitting, in a hostile, claustrophobic environment.

  • Internal Shirt Podcast # 001 – Why I Resent Your Charity Drive November 16, 2014

    With the holidays fast approaching, Tom takes the time to discuss why guilt tripping people into donating money is a bad thing; because some people apparently need to have very obvious things explained to them.

  • Kevin’s Statements: Pillow Talk April 23, 2014

    Kevin's Statements: Pillow Talk

  • Kevin’s Statements: Sexual Frustration April 22, 2014

    Kevin's Statements: Sexual Frustration

  • Kevin’s Statements: Trust Issues April 21, 2014

    Kevin's Statements: Trust Issues

  • Kevin’s Statements: A New Strategy April 20, 2014

    Kevin's Statements: A New Strategy

  • Kevin’s Statements: Leave Your Kids At Home April 19, 2014

    Kevin's Statements: Leave Your Kids At Home

  • Kevin’s Statements: Thinking About Death April 18, 2014

    Apr 18th, 2014 7:31:04pm

  • Kevin’s Statements: Unnecessary Surgery April 17, 2014

    Kevin's Statements: Unnecessary Surgery

  • Kevin’s Statements: Rosy Christmas Memories April 16, 2014

    Kevin's Statements: Rosy Christmas Memories

  • Kevin’s Statements: I Warned You About Doors, Bro! April 15, 2014

    Kevin's Statements: I Warned You About Doors, Bro!

  • Kevin’s Statements: Homosexual Harassment April 14, 2014

    Kevin's Statements: Homosexual Harassment

  • Kevin’s Statements: Irritating Bowel Syndrome April 13, 2014

    Kevin's Statements: Irritating Bowel Syndrome

  • Kevin’s Statements: A Day At The Fair August 30, 2013

    Aug 30th, 2013 6:02:24am

  • Kevin’s Statements: That’s too Long to Wait for a Sandwich August 29, 2013

    Kevin's Statements: That's too Long to Wait for a Sandwich

  • Kevin’s Statements: Gunt August 28, 2013

    Kevin's Statements: Gunt

  • Kevin’s Statements: Fartstep August 27, 2013

    Kevin's Statements: Fartstep

  • Kevin’s Statements: Gun’o’Clock August 26, 2013

    Kevin's Statements: Gun'o'Clock

  • Kevin’s Statements: LSD August 25, 2013

    Kevin's Statements: LSD

  • Kevin’s Statements: Treasure Island August 24, 2013

    Kevin's Statements: Treasure Island

  • Kevin’s Statements: What I’ll Do When I Win the Lottery August 23, 2013

    Kevin's Statements: What I'll Do When I Win the Lottery

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