List of Articles > Articles by Bob Kowchanski

  • My Favorite TV Puppets – Vol 1: The Presidents June 15, 2016

    Today is a very special year because we’ve got all these presidents trying to be the main president and win a trip to the White Hour. I love it, because there’s so many funny memes and it’s just endless fun for everybody expect all those people who get all racial or become dicks about ...

  • The Roommate Quiz May 20, 2016

    Do you have a problem roommate? If you do, chances are, you’ve not sure how to deal with it. Thankfully, I have written this handy quiz. Read each question below and choose your favorite answer.

  • The Gentle Art of Pushing Brown April 29, 2016

    One of the worst things about pooping is having to poop, and to wipe, and to be sad about public bathrooms.

  • The Ballad of Little Bighead February 26, 2016

    Bob Kowchanski has a roommate problem. Also a sock problem. And a bunch of broken bones. And a broken bong. All of these can be attributed to one stupid fuckhead.

  • A Word of Warning for My Hypothetical Midget Readers May 27, 2015

    Bob Kowchanski, unaware of the reality dwarfism seems to be convinced that all midgets/dwarfs/little people portrayed in film are simply Hollywood magic. He is equally baffled by the almost certainly fictional case of Percy Foster, who was allegedly eaten by a badger.

  • Bob Kowchanski’s Guide to Sex Stuff May 4, 2015

    A little while ago I was telling you guys about how to be a grandpa and I mentioned that you might not know how to do sex, which is a pretty important part of becoming a grandpa. Now, seriously, I don’t know how you don’t already know all about sex; after all, this is the Internet, ...

  • Shitbirds April 15, 2015

    Bob’s been looking for work, but that hasn’t stopped him from judging other people for being morons. In this article, he provides examples of the kinds of people he has to deal with on a daily basis, and why he doesn’t like them.

  • How I Got Mugged by John Lithgow March 16, 2015

    It’s possible that Bob’s latest anti-celebrity rant was a case of mistaken identity. Then again, maybe not. All we can know for sure is that it throws John Lithgow’s chilling performance in the hit show Dexter into a whole new light.

  • How to be a Grandpa in Three Easy Steps March 11, 2015

    Bob may have a few unresolved family issues, as evidenced by this rather unsettling guide on how to be a good grandfather.

  • Did You Guys Know Spock Died? March 4, 2015

    Everybody mourns in their own way. Bob, for example, mourns the loss of sci-fi legend and humanitarian Leonard Nemoy by relating a story in which he assaulted an innocent convention-goer with a pair of Hulk Hands.

  • I Got Fired for Smacking a Co-Worker With a Gel Keyboard Wrist Pad February 3, 2015

    Bob’s inappropriate social behavior and misuse of office supplies loses him yet another job. At least he didn’t get arrested this time.