A Zero-Spoiler Review of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Tom CashHumor, ReviewsLeave a Comment

The Force Awakens is the best thing to happen since the inception of multicellular life on this planet, and if you disagree, I hope you die horribly in a vat of your own bile. It has all your favorite Star Wars in it, including Ham Schlomo, Duke Skinwalker, Princess Lima Oregano, Seth Reepio, Art Dutito, Art Dutito Jr., Black Stormtrooper, Hot Girl, Chewbacco, and Darth Emo. Watch it today, or be prepared to have your butthole savaged by a feral Wookie on PCP.