Filler Content Friday – Don Knotts Looks Like He’s Getting his Butthole Fingered in Every Picture

Tom CashFiller Content Friday, HumorLeave a Comment

The late Don Knotts, beloved comedian whose characters included Deputy Barney Fife from The Andy Griffith Show, and Mr. Furley from Three’s Company, was very well known for his comical faces, particularly his wide-wided expression of shock and confusion. He was a brilliant physical actor and comedian.

He also looked like he was unexpectedly getting his butthole fingers by a large German man with gigantic sausage fingers at all times.

don knotts barney fife

Here he is shown just seconds before full insertion. He feels an intruder on his backdoor, but he hasn’t really fully processed it yet.

don knotts barney fife

Oh, but he’s processed it now!

don knotts barney fife

Haunted, the post anally-fingered Barney Fife wanders the streets of Mayberry, muttering to himself and bleeding from the ass.

don knotts

Barney, drafted into the Air Force, makes his way to his new duty station. Andy left a little going away present on the seat, much to Barney’s chagrin.

don knotts fighter pilot

One might think that Fife, now a respectable fighter pilot, would avoid getting his butthole blasted by fat German fingers, but no. It was not to be.

Later, Fife was picked up by NASA. But not even in space was his asshole safe from intrusion.

Fife is picked up by the Air Force’s super-secret space program (not affiliated with NASA). But not even in space was his asshole safe from intrusion.

don knotts

Devastated, Fife goes AWOL and drives across the country, in search of an escape from a lifetime of rectal violence.

don knotts

For a short time, he marries, only to discover that his new bride was a C.I.A. asset, sent to further torture him anally.

The CIA file photo of Fife, being actively fingered.

C.I.A. file photo of Fife, being actively fingered.

don knotts

Broken and despondent, Fife moves to Santa Monica and changes his name to Ralph Furley. Shown is his driver’s license photo. Guess what was happening to him at the time?

don knotts

Years pass. Although he has not been fingered in over a decade, his face has naturally taken on a shocked look. Always, always he is on guard. Never can he relax.

don knotts mr. furley

Now settling into the role of Ralph Furley entirely, he buys some property, and rents it out to a couple of beautiful women, and a goofy fucking dork named Jack Tripper, who, as it would turn out, is way into fingerbanging the butts of old men.

don knotts mr. furley

Decades of abuse have finally broken the poor man. A once naive young police officer turned war hero turned astronaut has finally given up. He actively seeks the anal pounding that only Jack can offer. No more beefy German fingers for Fife/Furley. Just Jack’s slender fingers and terrible one-liners.

don knotts mr. furley

Fife suffers a total mental breakdown, and spends his remaining years catatonic and demented.

don knotts old

Taken days before his death, Fife spends at last knows peace. Sleep well, sweet, anally plundered prince.

About the Author

Tom Cash

Hi! I'm Tom. I am on a journey of constant self-improvement, and I'm thankful that you've chosen to join me. I'd love to hear from you.