The late Don Knotts, beloved comedian whose characters included Deputy Barney Fife from The Andy Griffith Show, and Mr. Furley from Three’s Company, was very well known for his comical faces, particularly his wide-wided expression of shock and confusion. He was a brilliant physical actor and comedian.
He also looked like he was unexpectedly getting his butthole fingers by a large German man with gigantic sausage fingers at all times.
Here he is shown just seconds before full insertion. He feels an intruder on his backdoor, but he hasn’t really fully processed it yet.
Oh, but he’s processed it now!
Haunted, the post anally-fingered Barney Fife wanders the streets of Mayberry, muttering to himself and bleeding from the ass.
Barney, drafted into the Air Force, makes his way to his new duty station. Andy left a little going away present on the seat, much to Barney’s chagrin.
One might think that Fife, now a respectable fighter pilot, would avoid getting his butthole blasted by fat German fingers, but no. It was not to be.
Fife is picked up by the Air Force’s super-secret space program (not affiliated with NASA). But not even in space was his asshole safe from intrusion.
Devastated, Fife goes AWOL and drives across the country, in search of an escape from a lifetime of rectal violence.
For a short time, he marries, only to discover that his new bride was a C.I.A. asset, sent to further torture him anally.
C.I.A. file photo of Fife, being actively fingered.
Broken and despondent, Fife moves to Santa Monica and changes his name to Ralph Furley. Shown is his driver’s license photo. Guess what was happening to him at the time?
Years pass. Although he has not been fingered in over a decade, his face has naturally taken on a shocked look. Always, always he is on guard. Never can he relax.
Now settling into the role of Ralph Furley entirely, he buys some property, and rents it out to a couple of beautiful women, and a goofy fucking dork named Jack Tripper, who, as it would turn out, is way into fingerbanging the butts of old men.
Decades of abuse have finally broken the poor man. A once naive young police officer turned war hero turned astronaut has finally given up. He actively seeks the anal pounding that only Jack can offer. No more beefy German fingers for Fife/Furley. Just Jack’s slender fingers and terrible one-liners.
Fife suffers a total mental breakdown, and spends his remaining years catatonic and demented.
Taken days before his death, Fife spends at last knows peace. Sleep well, sweet, anally plundered prince.