MY PENIS IS SHAPES
Me: My penis is lenticular
C.B.: my penis is a question mark
Me: How do you resist the urge to hook it onto things?
C.B.: i don’t
C.B.: i hook it on anything i want
C.B.: it’s part of the rules of my house
I LIKE MY COFFEE BLACK JUST LIKE MY METAL/h5>
Me: i’m sleepy as a mofo
Me: I like my coffee like I like my women…
Me: super hot and all over my balls
Me: I want to be the first man in history to commit lunacide
C.B.: wtf is that?
Me: killing the moon
Me: I wanna blow up to goddamn moon
C.B.: oh snap
C.B.: lets do it
Me: think about it
Me: it causes waves
Me: and shit
Me: and like tides
Me: and werewolves
Me: fuck the moon
C.B.: yeah man fuck that piece of shit
C.B.: just hanging around earth for like, what? a million years
C.B.: GET A JOB MOON
Me: leaves his porch light on all night
Me: I’m fucking trying to sleep, you know?
Me: See, the sun is an alright guy
Me: out during the day
Me: provides plants with the basis for photosynthesis
Me: nice to have at the beach
Me: the moon, though?
Me: creepy asshole, only out at night, staring at everybody
Me: and a bunhc of smelly goddamn hippies dancing around it
MORE LIKE DEAD KENNEDY! LOLZ!
Me: Ted Kennedy died
C.B.: yeah i killed him
Me: i wonder if he was wearing pants at the time
Me: you did? so I guess that’s a ‘no’ to the pants, then
C.B.: well he had them on at the time
C.B.: i took them off after
C.B.: but it doesn’t matter
Me: before, after, you did what you had to do
LAST OF THE BOHEMIANS
Me: good trade
Me: oh shit
Me: what did I say?
Me: that was the word for “shit fucking” wasn;t it?
C.B.: you said sperm of racoon
Me: well, that’s what I meant to say
Me: in my village, that’s our main export
Me: because Chief Crazy Fingers likes to jack off furry woodland animals
C.B.: gotta work with what you got i suppose
Me: the next village down primarily trades in recycled Jams shorts, high top Kicks, and hats with SUICIDAL written on the inside of the brim