Chatlog Fun: Volume Sixteen

Tom CashChatlog Fun, HumorLeave a Comment

WOOOOOOOOOOONSOCKET

map_of_woonsocket_ri

Me: I like the word Woonsocket
C.B.: lol what
Me: WOOOOOOOON. SOCKET.
C.B.: oh ok
Me: Town in Rhode Island
Me: Population 16, 328
C.B.: sounds like a happy place
C.B.: place
Me: major import – coffee
Me: major export – the AIDS virus
Me: the famous jazz musician Eddie “Ripped Nipple” Dunsawki Jr was born in Woonsocket
Me: It is also home to the annual Fuckface Festival
C.B.: hahaha
C.B.: that last bit made me spit my coffee


ALPHABETTI SPAGHETTI?!?!

Me: also, let’s release our own brand of pasta
Me: most sites haven’t done this yet, and I feel it is a crucial step to being hot in the web 3.0 environment we are on the cusp on entering
Me: Internet site specific pastas and other dry foodstuffs are the wave of the future
C.B.: i agree
Me: I knew you would
Me: you can feel the winds of change


IT’LL RAM YOU FROM BEHIND

banksign

Me: unexpected grundle massage
C.B.: that’s my favorite kind
C.B.: i’m gonna make a bank called FUCK TRUCK
C.B.: band that is
Me: I like the idea of a bank named FUCK TRUCK better


SNIP!

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Me: nowhere does it say that the act of giving analingus must be done gently
C.B.: you’re supposed to use your teeth
C.B.: snip at it
C.B.: try to grab it between your back teeth almost like biting your own cheek
Me: pinch those anal meats, hard and sharp
Me: like a good Christian soldier
C.B.: i like to pretend like my mouth is a crab and their anus is getting trapped in my pincers


BAM BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM

C.B.: but whatever that’s boring as shit
C.B.: lets talk about gorillas
Me: OK
Me: That’s more to my liking for sure
C.B.: i saw this gorilla one time with a hat on
C.B.: HAHAHAHAHAH
C.B.: it was so funny
Me: Wait, no.
Me: I don’t much care for gorillas. It’s chimpanzees that really get my comedy motor running.
Me: Especially when they have them do human things.
C.B.: yeah i like chimps too

About the Author

Tom Cash

Hi! I’m Tom. I am on a journey of constant self-improvement, and I’m thankful that you’ve chosen to join me. I’d love to hear from you.