Chatlog Fun: Volume Fourteen

Tom CashChatlog Fun, HumorLeave a Comment

I HATE YOUR FACE
Nic Cage tiny face

SO TINY

C.B.: i just swallowed a bee
Me: did it sting going down?
C.B.: no =(
Me: what a waste
C.B.: for real
C.B.: the bee just got out
C.B.: wasn’t good
Me: fuck
Me: well that sucks
Me: YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU, TINY FACE. GET YOUR TINY FACE OUT OF HERE.
C.B.: blargggg
C.B.: what’s got you upset today sir
Me: life


TV PUPPETS

gagemays

Me: hey, did you hear that Billy Jackson, the TV puppet, died?
Me: Also, Michael Mays
Me: And Paula Poundstone, and Roy Orbison, and Daffy Duck
Me: it’s been an intense week
Me: Oh, and Charro
C.B.: too bad about charro i liked her b00bs
Me: those remain on display at the Smithsonian
Me: you can feel them for a nickle
Me: and for a dollar, you get to have sex with them for a full minute
C.B.: i just got paid
Me: sweet
C.B.: IT’S TIME TO UNWIND PILGRIM


BECAUSE GOD, AND JESUS, AND THE BIBLE

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Me: but the bible!
Me: you’re not hearing what I’m saying, here. THE BIBLE
C.B.: where as i just go ahead and say there isn’t one
C.B.: yeah i know what your sayin though
C.B.: the bible
Me: yeah
C.B.: what else would you need?
Me: look, I’ll pray for you if you want
C.B.: sure that would be swell
Me: I can do that, because I am bursting forth with the LORD
Me: I am all swollen up with the lord
Me: just filled to the brim
C.B.: i like it when people call upon mystical forces to help me out
C.B.: makes me feel like i’m in a pokemon cartoon
Me: or a Final Fantasy game
C.B.: lol
Me: that would be awesome if every time you prayed, we were treated to a fifteen minute “summon” animation


I WILL VOTE YOU OUT
Ted Cruz

BIBBLE? BIBBLE.

Me: not even ten am, and I am already bored
C.B.: FUCK THAT NOISE
C.B.: you hear me in there?
C.B.: FUCK
C.B.: THAT
C.B.: NOISE
Me: I don’t have to take this abuse, I’m a Republican
C.B.: =(
Me: save it for the darkies and the liberals, buddy
C.B.: oh i will


SUPERMAN CAN EAT OUT OF MY BUTT

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Me: Did you know that today is National Misery Day?
Me: Make somebody miserable, if you can manage it.
C.B.: i do that everyday
C.B.: to myself
Me: yeah, who doesn’t , though?
C.B.: superman
Me: this is your chance to do it somebody else
Me: man, FUCK superman


About the Author

Tom Cash

Hi! I’m Tom. I am on a journey of constant self-improvement, and I’m thankful that you’ve chosen to join me. I’d love to hear from you.