DO YOU WANT TO DRINK MORE GRAVY? SURE, WE ALL DO!
Me: Imagine what Sally Struther’s skeleton must look like
C.B.: like a needle in a tater tot
Me: i wonder if she has loads of stress fractures
C.B.: i bet she spent all her fortune on having experimental polymer attached to her bones for reinforcement
THIS CHATLOG WILL MAKE RINGO STARR SAD
Me: I’m gonna pump pump pump my lump, cover my humps with tons of lumps, go and practice my long jump
Me: My jump, my jump, my fuckin’ long jump
C.B.: hahah what
Me: I’m making fun of that stupid Black Eyed Peas song
C.B.: ahh ok
C.B.: yeah that song is probably the worst song ever
C.B.: i would rather listen to a ringo starr solo album
C.B.: not only does it have the worst lyrics in the world, the music is just a waste of time
C.B.: like it’s almost a joke or something
Me: Yeah, but I don’t think it actually IS a joke
Me: And even if it was, a million saps take it seriously
Me: “Oh, that song is off da hook, man, it sexy, it sexy”
ROCK OVER LONDON, ROCK ON CHICAGO
Me: Oi! She’s a beaut! I’m going to stick my balls into her mouth and see if she bites ’em!
C.B.: snipping at ball hair
Me: Crikey, no! I keep ’em shaved after that incident with the vampire bats!
C.B.: i know What you mean
C.B.: every time i hear vampire bats i think of that badass wesley willis song called “Vampire Bat”
eATSER EGG DURNK!!1
C.B.: he is risen, after all
Me: hahahaha, yeah
Me: he SURE HAS!
Me: I was going to do an egg hunt, but then I realized that I’d already KNOW where I’d hidden all the eggs
C.B.: just get really really drunk off of whiskey and then crash someone else egg hunt
C.B.: make sure you smell like booze and your shirt is buttoned up crooked
Me: If I can find one going on at 10 PM, hell yeah
PRETTY SURE I WAS STONED OUT OF MY GOURD
Me: I wet myself
P.M.: Come again?
Me: no, thank you
Me: ok, scratch that
P.M.: I’m not following