Chatlog Fun: Volume Ten

Tom CashChatlog Fun, HumorLeave a Comment

DO YOU WANT TO DRINK MORE GRAVY? SURE, WE ALL DO!

Sally Struthers

Me: Imagine what Sally Struther’s skeleton must look like
C.B.: like a needle in a tater tot
Me: i wonder if she has loads of stress fractures
C.B.: i bet she spent all her fortune on having experimental polymer attached to her bones for reinforcement


THIS CHATLOG WILL MAKE RINGO STARR SAD
black eyed peas

Garbage from outer space.

Me: I’m gonna pump pump pump my lump, cover my humps with tons of lumps, go and practice my long jump
Me: My jump, my jump, my fuckin’ long jump
C.B.: hahah what
Me: I’m making fun of that stupid Black Eyed Peas song
C.B.: ahh ok
C.B.: yeah that song is probably the worst song ever
C.B.: i would rather listen to a ringo starr solo album
C.B.: not only does it have the worst lyrics in the world, the music is just a waste of time
C.B.: like it’s almost a joke or something
Me: Yeah, but I don’t think it actually IS a joke
Me: And even if it was, a million saps take it seriously
Me: “Oh, that song is off da hook, man, it sexy, it sexy”


ROCK OVER LONDON, ROCK ON CHICAGO
Steve Irwin

Just a quick note: This man has been dead for a decade. That means he’s probably a skeleton by now. If that doesn’t fuck with your head a little bit, then I’m not doing my job.

C.B.: blarg
Me: CRIKEY
Me: Oi! She’s a beaut! I’m going to stick my balls into her mouth and see if she bites ’em!
C.B.: snipping at ball hair
Me: Crikey, no! I keep ’em shaved after that incident with the vampire bats!
C.B.: i know What you mean
C.B.: every time i hear vampire bats i think of that badass wesley willis song called “Vampire Bat”


eATSER EGG DURNK!!1
drunk easter bunny

“Alright, kids, let’s fuck some shit up!”

C.B.: he is risen, after all
Me: hahahaha, yeah
Me: he SURE HAS!
Me: I was going to do an egg hunt, but then I realized that I’d already KNOW where I’d hidden all the eggs
C.B.: just get really really drunk off of whiskey and then crash someone else egg hunt
Me: hahaha
C.B.: make sure you smell like booze and your shirt is buttoned up crooked
Me: If I can find one going on at 10 PM, hell yeah


PRETTY SURE I WAS STONED OUT OF MY GOURD
johnny depp hunter thompson

“What the seven hells are you talking about, man?”

Me: I wet myself
P.M.: Come again?
Me: no, thank you
Me: hahahaha
Me: ok, scratch that
P.M.: I’m not following
Me: nevermind

About the Author

Tom Cash

Hi! I'm Tom. I am on a journey of constant self-improvement, and I'm thankful that you've chosen to join me. I'd love to hear from you.