This month, Stockie deals with radioactive drug abuse, poor fashion choices, racism, menstrual flow, and… um… noses?
Hi folks. You may have noticed a lack of content this week. Unfortunately, I’ve been really low-energy recently, and I’ve had difficulty concentrating, which makes finishing articles – even ones which are already mostly finished – extremely difficult. My ability to focus is lower than its been in awhile, and I’m pretty sure it’s because I’ve been really lazy about diet and exercise; I tend to be more productive and much happier when I’m taking good care of myself. Anyway, I need to take a little break. Maybe a week, maybe two. I’ll probably post things occasionally, but I can’t commit to any kind of regular schedule until I’ve had some time to recharge my batteries. Whether you’re a new … Read More
It’s difficult to produce content on a consistent basis. Thankfully, there is a fairly reliable technique to break open your subconscious mind and get the creative juices flowing. It’s called free association writing, and the idea is to just write whatever comes to mind without any filters. Today I thought I’d share some of my stream of consciousness experiments with you.
When you’re a kid, the fair is all about the fun that comes all too easily to children, who have not yet been too terribly battered by reality. As a teenager, there’s a kind of fun to it, as well, because while you’re at an age where it’s impossible to both be cool and also have fun, you’ll still see a lot of friends from school, and maybe you’ll meet a hot girl or a cute boy! As an adult, the carnival is kind of a letdown. Like so many other things, as grown-ups, we find that the magic has gone flat, like old beer. As a result, we are forced to make our own fun. A game I like to play is to find the worst examples of poorly rendered, shamelessly appropriated pop culture painted on rides and vehicles.
HAPPY WOW!!! Happy Wow indeed!! I am not doing anything!! What are you doing today!! Sending unsolicited emails!! Oh, cool, sounds fun!! I can’t tell which is a question and which is a manic statement!! Moving right along, let’s address Pickle Pinkest. First of all, that sounds like some sort of bizarre, mistranslated title for a porno movie about a dude with an extremely clean, smooth, immaculate penis. Sort of the opposite of Two-Tone Malone, ya know? I know straight porno generally doesn’t focus much on the penis, other than size, but maybe that should change. Anyway, here’s what Pickle had to say: Sure Cindy, we can meet up, I’d love to learn how you got your amazing nickname, and … Read More
Welcome to the first installment of a new series in which I discuss some of my favorite pieces of culture, society, and the internet. My articles often tend toward the negative, and that’s not because I hate everything and everyone, it’s because it’s kind of difficult to be funny about stuff you love, and this is a comedy site. The comedy of hate is still funnier than me nerdgasming over how much I love Blonde Redhead. But it’s not impossible, you just need to pick the right topics; in this case, things that are inherently silly, but still fill my heart with joy. In the inaugural episode of A Few of My Favorite Things, I want to show case knock off products. These … Read More
Have noticed people acting strangely, or being total dickheads today? Like, even more than is usual for a Monday? Well, unless you’re a an astronomer, and star gazer, or one of those New Age dipshits, you probably weren’t aware that tomorrow is the full moon. Like me, you live in the modern world. You have a computer or mobile device of some kind. You have a calendar. You have something by which to tell the time. If you’re a fisherman or a seaman (lol), you have sophisticated equipment to track your bearing. You needn’t rely on celestial objects to inform your understanding of everyday life. So, barring a specific professional need, a hobby, or extreme credulity, your relationship with the … Read More
If you’re over the age of thirty five, there’s a good chance that you have less than fond memories of popular rock from the early-to-mid-2000’s. Things started getting a little better around 2008 or so, but for a while there, it was really looking grim. Not everything that came out of that era was terrible, but there was an overwhelmingly large amount of the musical equivalent of a Dinty Moore canned meal. Today we’re going to look at what has recently been given the moniker “Butt Rock”.