When I say that Jeff Dunham must be destroyed, please understand that it has nothing to do with his act. It has to do with his curious rise to power. I’m merely suggesting that the reason he’s become such a popular and iconic figure in modern stand-up comedy has less to do with his talent or his tenacity or his ability to give audiences what they want, and more to do with the fact that he sold his soul to a demon.
Let it never be said that I don’t suffer for my art. So far, in every single scripted video I’ve been in for Unintelligible Gibberish, I have found myself covered in food. In the case of this particular video, I was asked to smear foul-tasting, this-color-does-not-appear-in-nature cupcake frosting all over my face in order to satisfy an admittedly hilarious shot one second of screen time.
Hi folks. You may have noticed a lack of content this week. Unfortunately, I’ve been really low-energy recently, and I’ve had difficulty concentrating, which makes finishing articles – even ones which are already mostly finished – extremely difficult. My ability to focus is lower than its been in awhile, and I’m pretty sure it’s because I’ve been really lazy about diet and exercise; I tend to be more productive and much happier when I’m taking good care of myself. Anyway, I need to take a little break. Maybe a week, maybe two. I’ll probably post things occasionally, but I can’t commit to any kind of regular schedule until I’ve had some time to recharge my batteries. Whether you’re a new … Read More
It’s difficult to produce content on a consistent basis. Thankfully, there is a fairly reliable technique to break open your subconscious mind and get the creative juices flowing. It’s called free association writing, and the idea is to just write whatever comes to mind without any filters. Today I thought I’d share some of my stream of consciousness experiments with you.
When you’re a kid, the fair is all about the fun that comes all too easily to children, who have not yet been too terribly battered by reality. As a teenager, there’s a kind of fun to it, as well, because while you’re at an age where it’s impossible to both be cool and also have fun, you’ll still see a lot of friends from school, and maybe you’ll meet a hot girl or a cute boy! As an adult, the carnival is kind of a letdown. Like so many other things, as grown-ups, we find that the magic has gone flat, like old beer. As a result, we are forced to make our own fun. A game I like to play is to find the worst examples of poorly rendered, shamelessly appropriated pop culture painted on rides and vehicles.
HAPPY WOW!!! Happy Wow indeed!! I am not doing anything!! What are you doing today!! Sending unsolicited emails!! Oh, cool, sounds fun!! I can’t tell which is a question and which is a manic statement!! Moving right along, let’s address Pickle Pinkest. First of all, that sounds like some sort of bizarre, mistranslated title for a porno movie about a dude with an extremely clean, smooth, immaculate penis. Sort of the opposite of Two-Tone Malone, ya know? I know straight porno generally doesn’t focus much on the penis, other than size, but maybe that should change. Anyway, here’s what Pickle had to say: Sure Cindy, we can meet up, I’d love to learn how you got your amazing nickname, and … Read More
Welcome to the first installment of a new series in which I discuss some of my favorite pieces of culture, society, and the internet. My articles often tend toward the negative, and that’s not because I hate everything and everyone, it’s because it’s kind of difficult to be funny about stuff you love, and this is a comedy site. The comedy of hate is still funnier than me nerdgasming over how much I love Blonde Redhead. But it’s not impossible, you just need to pick the right topics; in this case, things that are inherently silly, but still fill my heart with joy. In the inaugural episode of A Few of My Favorite Things, I want to show case knock off products. These … Read More
Have noticed people acting strangely, or being total dickheads today? Like, even more than is usual for a Monday? Well, unless you’re a an astronomer, and star gazer, or one of those New Age dipshits, you probably weren’t aware that tomorrow is the full moon. Like me, you live in the modern world. You have a computer or mobile device of some kind. You have a calendar. You have something by which to tell the time. If you’re a fisherman or a seaman (lol), you have sophisticated equipment to track your bearing. You needn’t rely on celestial objects to inform your understanding of everyday life. So, barring a specific professional need, a hobby, or extreme credulity, your relationship with the … Read More